The scorns through the walk.

wah, i spent the whole day at home today and i feeel like im degraded to trash.

like a lump of fats lying around.

anw, this morning, i received a total of 15-20 messages from the same person. and i got so irritated i shut my phone off.

then i turned it on around 2pm and ssdcl called me to tell me my booking for driving lessons is not confirmed! damn it. inefficient shit, and that i’ve to do it again. (when i finally logged on at 4pm, they say i cannot book!!) *&^%^*()_(*&

still, i slpt in til 3.30pm and realised my dad got up earlier than me. (inserts shocked face) ( 0_0 )!!

so i spent 1hr surfing and viwawa, crunhyrolled (nothing fancy captured my attention) so i went back to slp after mild lunch from 5pm-7.30pm. wah, i really feel like a pig. eat and sleep. and when i finally woke up at 7.30pm, i felt like a piece of wasted muscle.

so from 7.30pm-10pm was practically emo-time. wahahahaha,okay, correctively i would say constructive emotions sorting out time. still, im here. hahahaha, no advancment. damn it. so at 10pm, i finally went to bathe and get ready to go out to have supper with rachel since szemin said she doesnt need me to go down to accompany her home.

yeah, and that ends my day. im gg to sleep early tonight.

a sagittarian with a leo.

by far, this is the most accurate reading of a sagittarian.
http://www.futurescopes.com/Sagittarius

“love can make it all work.” - http://www.starlightastrology.com/sag-leo.htm

Love isn’t love unless it is expressed;
caring isn’t caring unless the other person knows;
sharing isn’t sharing unless the other person is included;
Loving, caring, and sharing can make for a very happy marriage.

Sagittarius and Leo:

When these two powerful signs collide, there is no stopping them. Both are fire signs and will love playing together. It is only a matter of time before these two challenging signs attract and “get a room”. This relationship can work but boundaries must be established early on and only if both want to make it last. Both are stubborn, reliable and loyal by nature so there is an element of lasting potential to be had. Problems arise when Sagittarius is not stroking Leo’s tender ego. Leo will need lots of praise and compliments. Sagittarius over time will maintain that Leo is a keeper and vice versa. Leo could feel too restricted with Sagittarius over time. Give each other space and make sure that this is not a rebound relationship. Sagittarius could walk away with a broken heart if Leo is looking for a one-night stand. Both should be careful here for best results!

after reading so many horoscopes, i thought leo and sagittarius are like the heavenly couple. until i chanced upon Aries.

http://www.dressking.com/horoscope/Aries-Leo.htm

it is said that they match like how our fingers can lock.

i just got myself a new haircut, new haircolour(non-existent) seriously, the hair colour is purple. but doesnt look the least purple. -____-”

it’s been days of melancholy, it’s been days of self-pity, drinking, smoking, trying to kill time, trying not to cry, trying to be stronger as days pass.

i guess this is merely part and parcel of life, and honestly, i believe this will not be the worst hurt i’d ever feel, probably in future, i’d suffer pain worst than this. i must learn how to accept and deal with all my turmoiled emotions to become a stronger person because when i step out of it, i’d look back and smile. smile because what doesnt break me made me stronger.

a new hair cut to snip off bad lucks and put an end to past memories. and have a brand new start. =)

old hair, days wallowing in morbid.

i dont know, i look like an idiot especially in the 2nd and 3rd photo.

New Haircut, happier but could be happier. =)

I didnt put wax on my hair, it stood up on its own(as if telling to me stand on my own two tiny feets). and i havent even brushed my teeth thats why i look abit dirty. =S

**everyday i wish i can talk to you for awhile, sometimes, i’d lift my head high into the sky draw back the tears and know we’d never be apart because i’m looking at when we were happy, together.

polyclinic to get lungs test results. all is good.

doctor says its panic attack, gotta chill man..not life threatening at all!

so i went to sinseh to fix my shoulder and thumb.

thumb suffers a little sprain, shoulder is a little dislocated.

how to not feeel like a human dumpling??

this is dedicated to you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSrt-Inyo9A

yesterday when i texted you 3 times abt my accident. you didnt even reply. i got so upset.

but nvm. i told myself you need time alone.

honestly, although i said i want to let you go, although i sound harsh. deep inside, i still hope we can be back together happy again.

now i cannot stop crying. someone just told me she saw you happy with other people dancing away in play club.

my heart shattered and sank so deep.

i cannot stop crying now.

i thought maybe i could get over and when you’re ready, we can start again.

now, i know that i was a fool. i know that i was being so fucking silly!

CHARMAINETANXUANTING!!! WAKE UP PLEASE!!

i met with an accident and you switch off your phone and club with ppl and dance away happily.

even piercing a knife into my heart doesnt feel as pain as this.

if i commit suicide, i wont die because of you. but because of the tremendous hurt i cannot endure through.

i dont think you really do love me as you claim. and i shldnt even think that you do, because you dont even care.

I MUST FUCKING GET OVER YOU FUCKING HELL! I WONT LET YOU CONTINUE HAUNTING ME!!

WHY ISIT THAT YOU CLAIM TO LOVE ME BUT YOU KEEP ON HURTING ME!!!?!?!?! WHY!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS FROM YOU!!!!

well, nothing is impossible.

BUT FOR ME, THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!! BECAUSE EVEN IF I GET 5gpa for CONTINUOUS SEMESTER AHEAD I CAN NEVER REACH 4.0! KNN!

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its always good to have a dream.. something to fantasize about..

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Bad camera !!

\

signoff,

sasimi

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ORIGINAL PHOTO

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me and rayna TAN have big BIG BIG aspirations.

 we want to Dr. TAN therefore, at this very late night, you still see us mugging.

(as if, i just completed another series of korean drama. no mood to study!!…:()

so, in the process of it, we cannot wait but still prepare ourselves for the title.

yet we can call ourselves Dr TAN.. so heres afew suggestions,

1. put DR as our msn display name

eg.

Doctor Rayna Tan says:  ___________________ Doctor Charmaine Tan. says: ______________________

2. change to initials only eg.Doctor Charmaine Tan. says:DR C TAN

Doctor Charmaine Tan. says:DR R TANDoctor Rayna Tan says:hahahahaha’

Doctor Charmaine Tan. says:DR R TAN Y R Doctor Rayna Tan says:HAHAHAHHA

Doctor Charmaine Tan. says: DR C TAN X T

3. change to your nicknameegDoctor Rayna Tan says:Dr. Rambutan

Doctor Charmaine Tan. says:wahahahahahahaDoctor Charmaine Tan. says:expert in picking and growing rambutan

Doctor Charmaine Tan. says:dr C(heeby) TAN Doctor Rayna Tan says:HAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHA

Doctor Charmaine Tan. says: expert in picking porn websites

goodnight.signoff,

porno sasimi

I just cant stop crying.

I just cant stop feeling emotional.

I just cant help feeling horrible.

 * will crying the entire night wash away the sadness in me so that the next morning I can wake up a fresh new person?

I know I’m willing to wait for long for the one I love,

I know I cant delude myself into loving the one who loves me,

I’m not heartless, yet I’m the one who could hurt you most,

Stop being serious and forget about me.

Although I know love require fate,

I just cant leave the one I love.

And I just cant let you go because I’m seriously in love with you.

I cant stop questioning, why the truest heart can never meet the right one?

But I’d hold you in my heart until it turns cold.

The one who loves me never gives up bearing all humiliation,

Yet I’m hurt inside out by the one I love.

It seems like love can never be requited.

The one who loves me is willing to give up everything,

But the one I love leaves so space for me.

To love and be loved are both suffering,

Why is it that I just cant reject all of it, instead, I’m indulging in all of these. 

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.STOP trying to guess who I’m refering to.

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Still guessing?

The one I love                                    VS                       The one who loves me

Signed off,

Lame sasimi

we sitting under the same stars, staring at the same moon.

but we’re so far apart.

I miss you dearly.

Come back to me soon, love.