The scorns through the walk.

hello.

I think the problem is inherent.

so many chances given, as many changes thrown away.

so much tears wasted, so much time slipped away.

you said you’d change, but i dont even see you trying to change.

I’ve forgotten how and when I started giving in to you all the time.

I dont know where did I mange to gather so much patience and tolerance.

But I guess I had better find that chant to summon all remnant patience I’ve left to pull through this.

To you, it is never a last chance. To me, it was supposed to be a last chance.

maybe thats why the same thing happens over and over again.

I wish I had all the courage to walk away from this wreckage. But I cant, because I love you too much.

with work piling up to my neck, its almost suffocating.

I’m spending all my time waiting for a break that will make it all okay.

and its hard at the end of the day,

i need some distraction,

some beautiful release..

and weightlessness maybe,

to find some peace at night.

Its the endlessness that i fear.

**school terms are always short and scary, just like me.**

I’ve been working on my geography project since morning 11am, almost 12hours, I’m still sitting on the same hard, relentless brown chair. hair oily, face filled with dirt, fingers aching from the continuous typing and head pounding hard, trying hard to protest against information overload. my shoulders are aching the shit out of me.

I grieve on my condition. :(!

with 2 other companion, i feel comforted that we’re going through this together.

But not good enough. I’ve been having this bad premonition about things recently, and no one can ever feel how i’m feeling, at least not anyone i know of.

furthermore, bad dreams are haunting me in my sleep. and the worst, they seems to be reflections of real-life events!

I dreamt that my dad died in a car accident, and true enough, since the day i dreamt of it, he met with 2 car accidents, but thankfully, he was left unharmed.

DAMNN.

frustrated sasimi.

Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you
And maybe turning my back would be that much easier
Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange
But I can’t watch you walk away

Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you?
And all about the good times that we’ve been through
Could I wake up without you every day?
Would I let you walk away?

No, I can’t learn to live without
And I can’t give up on us now

know I could say we’re through
And tell myself I’m over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I’d fail cause I, I just can’t live a lie

**sometimes, all it needs is just afew days apart with a tinge of insecurity, touch of sensitivity peppered with expression of fulfilment without the significant other is all it takes to break apart a couple.**

How sad.

i wish you could be more understanding, empathising and supportive of me.
at least not dampen my spirit with your comments and attitude.
i wish we could share common interest,
i wish we could do fun things we both enjoy together.
Is it that hard?
I dont know, why it appears so hard?
does physicality really proves my love?
do we always have to be physically there to feel each other?
i always thought we were way over that stage. i guess you proved me wrong.

————————————————-
JUNO SUCKS, company is GREAT. curly fries with miracle kim is still as great as it was 4 years back.

sign off,
depressed sasimi.

today shall be marked and awarded as the most fufiling day for the past 2 years.

slept late last night at 3am to complete my socie essay. woke up at 11.44am, dashed to mrt station bathed, prepared by 12pm. woo, whose superman? ME!

so, i went to mustafa with yati to buy boots and we came across a INDIAN BUFFET. wahahaha.. can you imagine naan, curry, chappatti and byrani free flow? i cant really. BUT it was cheap. $7.50++ so we tried. and honestly, it was not bad. =)plus the ambience was pretty good. alot of AMsssss (am= angmo) though.         I give it 3.5 curry leaves.

 After the heartfelt meal, we went to school and slacked in megabites in science faculty. woo, the food there are cheap and nice! fastforward…………… We had dinner there after training, the chicken chop was half my plate and my plate is twice the size the normal serving dish! there were 2 full scoops of mashed potatoes, and a creamy, thick and tasty soup to go along, all for the price of $3.50! its not a school for nothing i guess.

anw, im kind of exhausted. more because yati and i were exchanges alot intellectually till a point where i wished i could shut her up because she was exhausting my remaining resources. hahaha.

Training was GREAT. i caught a guy! to think that i havent been in Touch for a long time and i can still run?!

hahaha, well, the aftermath of training was REJUVENATING, LIBERATING. wooots.

i still love touch rugby. =)

OH, but the only downside of today was, i didnt manage to study. merely read through lect 1 of macroeconomics. damn.so, lets make full use of the night while its still young.

OH, wasabii, i’d bring you to megabites on thursday when you come over! we can invite KIM CHIOS too. =)

otherwise, we can go to enginneering faculty to eat the indonesian food too. since i’ve got a 2 hour break because i’ve no MACRO TUTORIAL!!! WOOOOOOO!

sign off,

sasimi.

SERIOUSLY, JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU! CAP 4!!!

and coincidentally, 4 on your keyboard also = $ (under shift + 4)

that means if i get cap 4, i’d get alot of $$$. wahhh!

okay, stress has been eating my witty humour.

my hair are protesting against my brains for sleeping for such a long time.

i’m transforming into batman.

sign off,

sad sasimi.

CNY + Vday = goodfood, steamboat, gambling, socialising fun fun fun and more fun!..

its the 6th week of school. Next week will be my recess week, where we’ve got to prepare for mid terms exams.

 yet i’m still in a listless, restless mood to even touch my work. I’m moving forward so slowly i can lose to a snail in competition. My previous semester CAP is HORRENDOUS, *eye-bulging* , heart-racing, eye-teary and hair standing yet i’ve TOTALLY NO moood to FU*cKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT ALTHOUGH I DO WISH TO PULL MY FUC*KING CAP UP! damnit.

motivation and determination are running on parallel lines. lethargy and laziness are intersecting.

 theres so much to do. READINGS, WEBCASTS, ESSAY and TUTORIALS. BUT WHERE IS THE DAMN MOTHER FU*CKING motivation! 

where’d you go, i missed you so. seems like its been forever  since you’ve been gone…

you’ve fought countless battles together, won many races forever

we stood by me for all these years,

and now, without a word, you left me at my dying point.

can you bear to see me hanging on rope got me 10 feet off the ground?

i’m trying to call for you but i just cant make a sound!

tell me that you need me

than you go and cut me down!!!!

i say “HEY!!!!”

dont you ever leave me

come back to my side right now!

this is the last warning, if you stilll do not bother about me,

i’d call 999 to collect my dead body.

thats it for you, motivation.

sign off,

sasimi.

and to my dearest.. we’ve been for 1 year plus. look back at this photo.. hees.. its one of the first few. i think we werent tgt at the point of time where the photo was taken. (L)

To Succeed is about giving up.

 how much are you willing to give up to succeed?

I’ve learnt not to rely, learnt not to pin hopes and learnt that disappointment only starts with myself.

Only when I begin to hanker, will I start to feel disappointed.

final lesson of the day,

The cost of success is to detach. Detaching will bring no emotions and objectivity will stay. objectivity is the rule for success.

seems like a new good year ahead…

its chinese new year’s eve and im lying on the couch like a potatoe, typing away, idling time till steamboat comes.

 its so sad that i’ve got school. 4hours straight of lectures with the wit-battling, intelligence trying, macroeconomics! i HATE macroeconomics, thinking of changing major because of EC2102. damn!

 anw, took a ride home from wanlin and reach home to chat with wasabi on skype.

okay, TOPIC for the day: TOOMUCH

so during sociology lecture today,

i learnt that in year 2000, PM GOH was paying himself a big fat salary of $160,000 on a MONTHLY basis!

while paying the poor, forgotten and neglected fellow singaporeans $200/- a month to feed us hands to mouth (idiom?)

IS IT FAIR? BUT DO YOU CARE?!

wasabi tan tian zi. i miss your fattie face,

i hope you’re taking good care of pattie

and not let it fall like a flattie.

although you’re a flattie,

i hope you remember pattie needs milkie.

opps.

HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS! although the mood havent sink it, im not even excited. apart from the food im gg to get to eat! wahahaha (L)

this is my first blogpost here, HELLO to LAH.CC,

the domain is DAMNN CUTE thats why I decided on this instead of livejournal.com

and I got this from YIJoooonzsszz meimeizz who’s turning 20?!

the purpose of my tiny blog is to improve my ENGRISH which is deterioriating faster than the food in crystal jade.

Okay, lets get on with todays topic(Topic 1)

THE UNSPEAKABLE BATTLE

just a minute ago i was chatting with Miss Y (lets call her that least i expose her ugly secret-hahahaa)

so, miss Y asked, “what is the longest time a person can cheat on another without getting caught?”

i was dumbfounded! why such a question. However, i replied, “i suppose on an average person, 6months is all it takes to get caught indefinitely. For a smartass, probably forever?”

so the ultimate purpose of her asking is because she cant decide between guy A and guy B, and she needs some advice, or shall i say, some advice to act on her own device. shes planning to be physically UNattached to either one, and feel emotionally who feeds her more. and ultimately, that’ll be the decided guy (SUAY guy to have such a girl) wahahahaha.

and previously, i was chatting with miss K (lets call her that least she feels that i’m undermining her in public)

we spoke about people we met tgt, how she felt towards them, this and that. and seriously speaking, miss K is a fantastic girl in every sense, maybe some defect in certain area(S). So why does K has to wait and bid for her time while MISS Y has two yet cant differentiate is it heaven or earth?

theres so many aspects to this controvesial snippet of everyday life.

1. Cheating - is it considered cheating if it starts without physical contact?

PERSONAL OPINION (PO) : Yes, cheating begins with getting emotionally attached, emotionally drifted away.

2. Is it cheating? - To not have any status with both, and enjoy the companion of both

PO : Yes, cheating is deceiving, deceiving 2 persons feeling, telling(verbal/non-verbally) them the love you might have for both parties, allowing them to think they stand priority in your heart when you havent made your choice right is deceiving. therefore = cheating.

 3. Is it better to be Miss Y - to have 2 and cant decide or Miss K - to have only 1 best choice(best available) and fights for it?

okay, im beginning to be boring. will be back with something more explosive.

ANYWAY, this is unagi head and sasimi body speaking, calling out for wasabi! 

“WASABI, I MISS YOU TERRIBLY!!! ”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8lrjCVQnkE - ME LOVE (sean kingston)